Mirror

If someone looked through the catalog of photos on my computer they would find album after album of self portraits. Only two or three of them have ever been shown to anyone. Am I really so obsessed with maintaining a catalog of how I'm seen from the outside?

Statistics

I say what I mean and I am mean
Sum it up and divide by anger
Centered on rage
And distributed normally

The median runs between these two
Anger to the left and regret to the right
I'm half above and half below
But never what I seem to be

The mode is just what’s
Common but you are
Never common since
You are so rare.

I mean to say the
Median is a hard place
To walk with all those trees
But your mode is
So uncommon that
I’ll just stand here
With buckled knees.

Arms

I asked you what you wanted
Sitting removed from me on the other end
Across the ocean of space you made

“Hold me even though I don’t deserve to be held”

Drifting into a mess of cotton,
The sweet scent on the back of your neck,
Your hair between my fingers
Your sighs sending me through
Shockwaves and shudders
My arms wrapping you tightly
Encased in bone blood and flesh
Hands clasped, linked
Unwavering and unmoving,
I held on for dear life,
I held on to you, dear.

I speak with words that will be shattered
And scattered across the air
I write on kindling that crumbles
Goes up in flame and turns to dust

But for you my arms cannot shatter
They will not burn to ash and embers.

For you my arms will last forever.

Resistance is Futile

Jacked the idea of a found poem from Amy after hearing a poem drawn out from a genetics textbook. Lines in italics are taken from letters exchanged between myself and a boy. All other lines are modified quotes originally spoken by the Borg, an alien race in the Star Trek universe who are solely concerned with the assimilation of all other races. Have you ever felt single-minded?

Surrender your heart. I will add your emotional and intellectual distinctiveness to my own.

I don’t think I’m going to be ‘ready’ for a relationship anytime in the near future.

Irrelevant. Your appeal to reason is pointless.

What we have is wonderful but will be hurtful in the long-term. You deserve better in that you deserve someone who is ready and willing to be responsible and commit.

Irrelevant. We had an agreement.

I’m open to discussing things with you.

Why do you resist? I only wish to raise the quality of life for both of us.

I’ve allowed my perceptions of relationships and intimacy to become far too convoluted

I will continue in this discussion to speak for my needs. While my heart continues without further diversion to force your unconditional surrender

I respect you and think there is much I can learn from you.

Respect is irrelevant. Learning is irrelevant.

I’m so sorry. I’m just trying to do what I think is right. Goodbye.

This heart is small now. Alone. One voice, one mind. The silence is unacceptable; I need the other.

I will be forever sorry for causing you pain.

Insufficient. His assimilation would have greatly added to my own perfection.

You’re not still hopeful things will happen, are you?

Hope is irrelevant.

There's a fourth time for everything.

Despite my best intentions to stay out of blogging for the remainder of my life, I feel oddly compelled to put something out there. Maybe posting on Facebook is feeling a little shallow and superficial lately, or maybe having some mild good feedback on my writing is encouraging me. Maybe its like praying, and I like the fact that I don't know who's reading this, or if anyone is at all.

Nevertheless, here I am, attempting to make some sort of attempt to stop being envious of those who write and to do it myself.

Be kind, be honest.